There you are, sitting in the garden,
desperately waiting for the seed’s growth.
You water it for as long as you can,
then you say to yourself- “if I use my tears,
it might be kind enough to grow faster.”
You’re tired of waiting;
you’re tired of dreaming.
So, you slap yourself really hard,
punch yourself with all your strength,
and attach pins to your right arm,
one pin for every second
that you have had to wait,
but the seed won’t sprout, still.
Then, you realize!
You realize that what you’ve been waiting for,
what you’ve planted, is no seed at all-
it’s your heart, it’s your self, and
you can’t grow love on an infertile ground,
even if you ask and wait and beg for it,
with all of your heart.
I wanted you to tell me you loved me,
but you loved me because
I didn’t tell you to tell me?
You were in love with me;
you locked me in it with you,
but you hid the keys and kept to yourself.
You put a blindfold on me,
and the day I finally got it off,
your swords cut me till
I stopped trying to hold you.
Then you put the blindfold on me again,
tightened it up till I couldn’t cry or speak,
till I began to find it hard to breathe.
You were in love with me
but you were with you.
You didn’t love me because
you didn’t show me that you did.
Death didn’t spare my previous knight
on his way to meet me,
so he became death.
he was dead inside.
He broke hearts and ripped souls,
but I welcomed him with open arms.
Totally rejecting the idea that
he was completely dead,
I tried to fix his wounds.
He snatched my heart and broke it in six,
and I let myself die the 6th time.
Look, I am very quickly becoming death;
so, find another queen.
My flowers are not yours to wet;
my heart’s not yours to win.
Your knight was/is not Death, queen;
your real knight will come!
She insisted that she had to be right,
so he left.
Love will make you sad,
it’ll turn you bad,
and it’ll drive you mad,
if it’s given to you in dribs and drabs.
Why do I miss you so much
if you are right beside me?
You are gone from you,
you are gone from me.
Your eyes don’t recognize me anymore,
I can’t see myself in them.
and I’m alive,
but Us is dead;
Us is not on this bed.