The Wounded Healer

Her words are deep, and perhaps, far too deep, because they do not come from her heart. She writes and speaks with passion only because her words come from the pitch of her stomach. As these words travel up her torso, they avoid her heart like a plague.

Yemoja.png

“Yemoja” [Artist Unknown]

Her heart is severely wounded, so she strives to protect her words from blood stains. She chooses not to release the words that live in her heart because they are filled with pain.

She is hurt
and she is weak
and she is dying slowly,
but it’s not for her listeners who need healing to see…

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Sunny Moon. Moony Sun.

She’s like the sun.
You go too close to her, and you burn.
You go too far away from her, and you freeze to death.

She’s like the moon.
You go too close to her, and you’re blind in your fantasy.
You go too far away from her, and you can’t see.
You can’t see a thing; you can’t dream.

You stay right where you should be,
and she glows for you.
She’s half-sun and half-moon.
Queen.
Half-sun and half-moon.
Me.

I am Water

Water is gentle;
water is fierce.
Water brings laughter,
and also, tears.

Water frightens you;
but it calms your fears.
It has kept the earth alive
for many years.

Even if your child gets
swept away in water,
you’d still rinse your weary eyes
and weak thighs with it.

Anyone who falls in love with me
must know that I am water.
I am transparent and formless;
but it’d be pretty tough to know me.

If you can love the water,
you can love me.
If you can’t abstain from water,
you can’t abstain from me.

The Lady of the Hood

She’s the storm in the calm
and the calm in the storm.
Life is in her right hand,
but death is in her left.
Sweetness is in her right buttock,
but chaos is in her left.
Honey is in her right breast,
but poison is in her left.

She’s right-handed, until it’s broken,
until the wrong words are chosen,
until she’s robbed of her token.
Oh, what the hell is “soft-spoken”?

“Yes, you better be joking.”
That Queen is a fiery ocean.
You dare not hurt her children;
she keeps her cold heart frozen.

She meows and strides before she roars,
like a humble bureau-cat.
She marks her territory;
she does it just like that.
If you trample on her
like the people do on mats,
with the class and style of an aristo-cat,
and the power and poise of a big lioness-cat,
she tears you into many bloody parts,
just like that.

Heal

Were there terrible men and women in your lives,
relatives or non-relatives, at any point,
who found it pleasing to compare your beauty to someone else’s, 
in order to get to you and make you think less of yourself
or get you to agree to whatever perversion they wanted to try with you.

“You are fine but not as fine as your mother. Why are you feeling yourself?
Remove your skirt, let me see your legs” and such.

I bring you healing. You are beautiful, and I’m not just trying to patronize you. Don’t ever let anyone determine what you think of yourself. 

Love Yourself

Feeling unloved is one thing,
feeling unlovable is another.
The latter is the very first
step to self-destruction.

When you begin to feel unlovable,
you stop loving yourself.

You can survive if other
people don’t love you,
but you can’t, if you don’t love yourself.

Vagine-Her

BeFunky CollageIf he tells you your body is ruined
’cause it has been touched by another man,
ask him why he thinks so poorly of the male body [and his own self]
as destructive and ruinous.

 

Don’t Live in Denial

When someone shows you
who they really are,
you must believe them.
Don’t live in denial.
Make no excuses for them.
Go over what you learnt
from your experience with them,
forgive yourself for everything
you think you did wrong,
and move on.

Exist in the present,
bury the dead feelings that have
made your heart their home,
and leave it all behind.
Live.


UNREQUITED LOVE:

There are two kinds of abuse in love. The first kind is the one you suffer from before the other person shows you who they really are and what they really want. The abuser would be them if it’s the first kind, because they can’t really decide if they want you or not, at your own expense. They’re not sure if they love you, so they want you to wait till they make up their mind.

The other kind is self-inflicted. Someone bluntly says they don’t love you or they don’t want to have anything to do with you and you say “oh, I mustn’t pay any attention to that. He’s a Pisces. He’s just being his moody self; there’s nothing wrong here,” or someone refuses to return your calls and messages and you say “you know how these INFP Capricorns and Scorpios are, plus his grandma’s sister’s daughter’s baby daddy’s second cousin’s niece died, so he’s probably just in a bad mood or busy with work”. No, what are you doing?

The other person/party wouldn’t be at fault in cases like the second one. It’s up to you to jolt out of this terrible, energy-sucking fantasy that you have placed yourself in.

Ask yourself, “what good is this unbalanced, abusive union or lack thereof to me?” If your answer is “none”, you can make a change right there and then. You can cry if you need to. You have to make yourself happy again, without them. 

You wouldn’t need to worry about, or be unsure if someone loves you if they do, because it will be clear; it will be as clear as a bright, sunny day.

The key to the prison in your heart is in a safe place in your mind. In cases of unrequited love, one must accept the challenge of thinking more and feeling less. Feeling and daydreaming, till it begins to affect your health, will affect you very badly. It will make you useless to yourself. It’s hard, but one must die first to possess eternal life. Stop living in denial. Let go! 🌻 “Alaafia.” 💛🍯

Flaw-Her

Flaw /flô/
Verb
meaning: (of an imperfection) mar, weaken, or invalidate (something)

It must be very hard to be a flower;
I know it, my darling.
You want to be adored very much,
touched,
selected,
plucked,
but all that comes with fear-
fear of maltreatment and neglect
and decay and death.

Woman, One Word

No lips are lovely enough for my lips.
No words or verses are good enough
to make me feel like a woman.
No car or house is expensive enough
to fit my ego, and my dreams.
No food and promises are audible or
legible enough for my vagina and squirt.
No man is big enough for my arms;
no man is worthy enough of my love.
No hands are good enough for
my stunning breasts and thighs;
no amount of your money
is large enough for my hands.

I don’t need a man to be happy.
No man in the world.

I don’t need to be chained
by a man to be free.
No man in the world.

To be successful, I don’t need to
suck on smelly man-candy.
No man in the world.

No man is big enough for arms.
No man in the world.
No man in the world.